“Carrie” said a voice gently stirring me from my sleep. I sat up and ran a hand through my curls which were undoubtedly going wild “Alex?” I asked confused.
“You fell asleep” he said “obviously” he added looking entertained by his own thoughts. I laughed sleepily “you’re weird” I said “but it works for you”.
“Oh thanks” he replied sarcastically “I should probably go you’re tired and it’s getting late” he added stretching out his arms.
“No!” I said a little too loudly, I felt my cheeks go pink, “I mean it’s fine I had a nap don’t go now”. Tired me clearly had fewer inhibitions than regular me or maybe she was just more honest with herself. Alex watched me with an amused look on his face for a minute before smiling and raising his eyebrows at me.
“What?” I asked him.
“Nothing” he replied “no it’s nothing” he was distracted momentarily by something and then he reached out and fixed a piece of hair that must have been sticking up at an odd angle. I giggled again; I don’t know how he made me laugh so much at things that weren’t that funny.
I looked up at him as he sat back again and our gazes interlocked. His eyes were really quite beautiful when you looked at them properly; they were sort of greenish brown with flecks of different colours and shades within them.
“I’ve been wondering something for quite a while actually” he said looking down quickly and then back up at me.
“Yeah?” I said questioningly with a nod, trying to keep my voice casual although I could already feel that uncomfortable yet enjoyable fluttery feeling in my stomach and I knotted my hands together nervously.
“I’m not sure how to say this exactly” he began “but sometimes it’s better to show people things and…” he stopped mid sentence.
His phone was ringing, he pulled it out of his pocket “Charlie” he said shaking his head before answering the call. He wondered out into the hallway to talk and I sat there and stared at the wall opposite the sofa, wondering what he would have said to me if it wasn’t for that phone call.
You see that is my problem. I fall in love like someone who falls on the ice during the first time they’ve ever tried to skate – often and suddenly. I was back in the same old boat once again, but now I wondered if I should go through with this one. I didn’t want to lose what I had with Alex. He was a great friend and life would be just that bit more boring without him. On the other hand, my emotions were protesting greatly against my logic and in that moment they were winning. I couldn’t just enjoy being friends because deep down I knew that I was in love with him, every time he smiled or made me laugh I just wanted to lean over and kiss him – I’m pretty sure friends aren’t supposed to feel that way.
“What did Charlie want?” I asked curiously as he sat back down next to me.
“Oh he just wanted to know what time I was planning on getting home” he replied.
“What time did you say?” I said.
“I told him I’d be back in the next hour so I should probably leave in about twenty minutes for the train”
“Were you going to tell me something before that call or-?” I asked trying to sound as casual as my voice would let me.
“Oh right that yeah…” said Alex he stretched his arm up and rubbed the back of neck “well I was just going to say that you should use Sony Vegas pro to edit your videos I was going to show you how to do it but actually forget it they look great anyway”
“Right” I replied feeling a bit disappointed, but there was still this part of me that was unconvinced “I already use Sony Vega pro though remember?” I said.
“Oh yeah… you do” he trailed off “sorry”
“Can I have a hug then before you leave me?” I asked him with a smile, his face broke and he smiled back at me.
“Course you can” he replied cheerily before opening his arms wide, the hug lingered just a bit longer than one you’d have with a guy friend. I hoped that meant something.
“It’s been great to see you” I said as we stood at the door after twenty more minutes of chatting and laughing (and wishing he would stay just a bit longer).
“Obviously it hasn’t you fell asleep on me” he teased.
“You’re just comfy” I replied smiling warmly at him I stood on my tip toes and gave him another hug and a peck on the cheek “have a safe journey please Mr.Day I don’t want you to go ruining this best friendship by dying”
“Yes because my whole life is just about staying alive so I don’t ruin our friendship” Alex replied with a laugh.
“Of course it is” I said grinning.
“See you then,” he said finally opening the front door “I’ll give you a call or”
“Fear of answering the phone remember?” I corrected him, and I rolled my eyes jokingly “don’t you know me at all?”
“Of course I do we’re best friends” he said grinning “I’ll text you later” he added before walking off down the street. I watched him for a moment before closing the door.